


Android of Courtly Love

by ineptshieldmaid



Category: Arthurian Mythology & Related Fandoms, Le Chevalier de la Charette - Chrétien de Troyes, Romans | Arthurian Romances - Chrétien de Troyes
Genre: Alternate Universe - Space, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-22
Updated: 2015-08-22
Packaged: 2018-04-16 16:46:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4632666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ineptshieldmaid/pseuds/ineptshieldmaid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Guinevere does not know the guy with the sword. Definitely not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Android of Courtly Love

**Author's Note:**

> I have always said I'd write a b-grade Arthurian space opera. Consider this a teaser. (A teaser which does not bother filling in the plot of the Knight of the Cart, I might add.)
> 
> Blame Antionus_Major for the android.

‘Oh. My. God. Are you sure you don’t know this guy?’

Gwen ignored the girl - Stacey? Stella? - and the holoscreen said girl was busy peering over. She did not know the guy, she did not owe him anything, and she did not care how hot he was. If he zapped Meléagaunt so much the better, the guy was a pestilence.

‘He’s got an actual sword!’ Suzy or Sarah cried. ‘A real sword!’

Great. So she was being stalked by re-enactors as well as deranged provincial mafioso types.

* * *

The guy-with-the-sword was not a re-enactor. And unfortunately, Gwen did know him. Or his face, at least.

Also unfortunate, but predictable: Kay was too damn nosy for his own good. And uptight, and inclined to pitch a fit when he overheard Gwen stomping around and swearing about how he (the man-with-the-sword, the _Lancelot_ ) wasn’t supposed to come _here_ of all places.

Kay had been getting on her nerves.

Guinevere explained: sometimes, when a man loves his wife very much, but said man is _kind of a shithead_ \- this would be Arthur - said man might threaten to order the very latest in personal service-androids. With all the right attachments, if you see what I mean. (Kay’s eyes bugged out.) And, because said husband was kind of a shithead, he might have ordered the 'Lancelot' version that came pre-loaded with the “courtly love” social programming (poetry, ecstatic admiration, worshipping at your feet, and yes, an actual sword).

(It might also happen that, once said man presented his wife with proof of purchase, and once said wife had finished beating him about the head with a soft pillow, man and wife proceeded to have _singularly amazing sex_ and man demonstrated hitherto-unsuspected depths of imagination as pertains to what a happy couple might get up to with a suitably programmed android. Kay did not need to know about that part.)

Unfortunately, when you ordered your wife an android of courtly love right before said wife got kidnapped, then said android’s programming required that he pursue her across the galaxy performing feats of valour. 

Dammit.


End file.
